You’re all worthless and weak

In light of the fun message we’ve been getting from people like Missouri senate guy Todd Akins, Mike Huckabee, et al, I have a message for our Republican congressdudes which you can extend to white American guys in general but for right now, let’s focus on the GOP. It is this:

SHUT UP.

I’m serious you guys, you need to close your mouths. Do not say another word. Do not even issue a statement through some poor flunky. I’d say don’t even think but I believe that little problem has been taken care of some time ago. But just, as a (not) friendly suggestion, please

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

And that having been said, here’s my second (not) friendly piece of advice:

GO AWAY.

Yes, go away. Leave the stage. Leave public life. Cease and desist all political activity. None of you so far have displayed the governing ability of warm sand. You act like you’ve never talked to another human being in your life, except for maybe your golfing buddies. Since it’s a requisite in this fine modern democratic individualistic (cough cough cough sorry got some irony stuck in my throat) land that anyone who wants to get anywhere in politics has to be married with at least 2.5 children you must have touched a woman at some point in your lives, but you don’t seem to have ever had a conversation with one. You act like you have no idea what these mysterious uterus-having beings are like. Why should  you be allowed to be anywhere near any position of power? I’d be hesitant to hire you as Walmart greeters — instead of saying “Welcome to Walmart” you might end up blurting out “Hey, that’s not legitimate rape!” And then you’d get torn to pieces and I might get blood on my cheap Walmart pants. That would suck. (Blood on my clothes, that is; I couldn’t care less if you were fed to wolverines and it was all shown on Pay-per-view.)

So. Leave office. Leave the public eye. Leave town. Go off into the wilderness and found that Christian community of righteous-living sexist racist pigs you seem to want to live in. Just go away.

(Note: this can, as I said above, be extended to many who are not in the GOP. Plenty of white male Libertarians, Democrats, Socialists, and “independents” are like this. So this goes for you guys too. And for those of you Republicans who protest you’re not like this, well good. Run these guys out and clean up your party.)

5 thoughts on “You’re all worthless and weak

  1. I think Akins is certainly being run out of the election. Mitt Romney has called on him to drop out of the race, which is significant, but the National Republican Senate Committee is withdrawing the $5,000,000 they were going to give him, and that will make very hard for him to win. I’m starting to see reports about his fundraising drying up, and his was notso hotso to begin with. This dumbshit has probably single-handedly ensured that the GOP won’t be able to take the Senate. Verdict: Retard.

    White American guys in general? I’ll put white guys up against any race you care to name in the treating women respectfully contest, if we’re going to get all racial here.

    • Um, sorry, but–

      White American guys in general? I’ll put white guys up against any race you care to name in the treating women respectfully contest, if we’re going to get all racial here.

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAAAAHAHHAHAAA–

      *gasp*

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

      Okay, look. I was going to go into this long explanation of how you were wrong, and list all the ways, but it’s late, and I’m tired, and I’m no longer interested in educating people who refuse to learn. You’re a big grown up man, and you can use your search engine of choice to look up “white male attitudes towards women,” though you then run the risk of having your feelings hurt. That’s not my problem. I’ll just say this:

      I am talking about Americans in this post, because I live in America, and that’s the only country I am even slightly qualified to criticize. And I am talking about white Americans (that is, people descended from the variety of Europeans who settled here), because I am a white American, and white Americans are the only ethnic group I am even slightly qualified to criticize. I don’t know how white men’s treatment of women measures up to the way men in other cultures treat women. It isn’t a fucking contest, and trying to weasel out of a charge by pointing at some other person and saying “Well he’s worse!” is weasel-wording at its finest.

      Note: personally, I’ve been luckier in my life re men than a lot of women. I’ve never had anything really bad done to me, and I was never ambitious about a fast-paced business career or interested in any traditionally “male” job so I’ve never had to deal with disgruntled men who find women in their formerly all-male playhouse. I don’t play video games, so I don’t have to deal with guys making rape jokes and saying things like “tits or get out” when all I want to do is play World of Warcraft. I don’t date, so I don’t have to deal with that situation. I don’t read comics, so I don’t have to deal with the big-titted, tiny-wasted stereotype depictions of women. I don’t watch many movies, and I certainly avoid the big blockbusters, so I don’t have to have my brain assaulted by yet more female characters created by men who were brought up on comic books. I quit watching tv regularly so I hardly ever have to see what the mostly male tv writers in the male-dominated entertainment business think women should look and act like. I’m almost fifty years old, so I don’t have to deal with the stalkers and the “nice guys” and the assholes. That being said, I refuse to let my generally benign personal experience deny that the way white men in America have generally treated women has mostly sucked. We’ve been beaten up, patronized, treated like small and stupid children, used like dolls, idolized as if we were not real, put on a pedestal and ordered not to move, ignored, lied to, cheated on — and any time we were treated like human beings we’ve been expected to be grateful and act like we’ve been given some special gift. I’d tell you to take my word for it because I’m actually a woman and you’re not, but that never goes over well in the United States of Mansplaining.

      • It seemed like sort of a broad, unspecific charge, and I couldn’t offer up anything better than a broad, unspecific defense. Maybe if my heart was in it.

        My heart’s not in it because that lousy bastard Akin refused to drop from the Senate race before procedural difficulties kicked in, such as having to pay for the reprinting of ballots, or petitioning the court to have his name removed. He probably figures the GOP will have no choice but to support him, or not pick up the seat, the swine. If most women share your reaction, and they likely do, the GOP must take this to court. A jolly little ratfuck all the way around, and a tribute to the Democrats’ canny policy of supporting that boob in the primary with money and crossover voters.

        Here’s a link to an old Mary Kay Brown strip from the glory days of the National Lampoon which perfectly sums up the current state the Missouri Senate Race, the image enlarges if you click on it:

        Whistle Stop

  2. …and we still vote for them. unfortunately, people get the government they deserve and democracy isn’t kind to the thinking minority :(

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