The only thing you have to know about Fifty Shades of Grey, the new erotic phenomenon that has taken the bored American housewife contingent by storm and is supposed to be proof that what women really want is to be dominated by an alpha male, is that the book’s hero, who is a super-wealthy, super-successful, super-sexy “dom”, calls his penis “Harold”. Excuse me, I have to go change my underwear now because that is just, in the words of the book’s heroine, so freakin’ hot!


12 thoughts on “Crocktease

  1. Was the heroin’s little personal pleasure palace named “Maude” by any chance? At least that would allow for his member’s moniker to have such a powerful effect.

  2. Mine’s named “Gr. Ch. American James Bond Thunderball of Kern”…but that’s too much of a mouthfull, so I just use the call name, “Rubble”.

  3. I’d so love to have something clever to say here, but I’ll leave that to wittier visitors. Instead, I’ll just tell you that’s a book I won’t be reading – ever.

    • It’s apparently not even that sexy, at least according to what critics are saying about it. (I’m still waiting for a coworker to get it like she said she wanted to. I refuse to spend a penny or even bother getting a pirated copy.)

  4. Why do men give their penis a name?

    They don’t like to think that someone they don’t know is making all their decisions for them.

    • Being that most of the corporate types, further up any given work related “food chain” are (usually) dicks….and that they have names…most guys feel it’s only fitting we name “ours” as well.

  5. I was going to leave a comment on this the other day and was on mobile and didn’t have my login info for Now I have no idea what I was going to say. But I stopped by. πŸ™‚

    • I’m not sure there’s anything that needs to be said about a book where the hero has a name for his penis. On the other hand (no pun intended) I now wish I’d titled my post “Shlocktease.” Always with the rewriting.

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