The only thing you have to know about Fifty Shades of Grey, the new erotic phenomenon that has taken the bored American housewife contingent by storm and is supposed to be proof that what women really want is to be dominated by an alpha male, is that the book’s hero, who is a super-wealthy, super-successful, super-sexy “dom”, calls his penis “Harold”. Excuse me, I have to go change my underwear now because that is just, in the words of the book’s heroine, so freakin’ hot!